no. longer. here. click on new blog.

hey loves

2009-12-27T01:55:00.000-08:00

i'm moving!

the future underwoods have a new blog.

http://under-theriverandthroughthe-woods.blogspot.com

taken.

2009-12-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

officially, by this handsome boy.

i have been up since 4am out of PURE EXCITEMENT.

the story:

andy & i spent seperate christmas mornings with our families, then met up at his house at 12:15 (yes, on the dot so we'd make it by 1:00 for Christmas dinner at my house) for our own little christmas exchange.

He had told me earlier that he only had one present for me since the other one was on backorder and wouldn't come until mid-january.

To me this was no big deal so I told him that i'd love whatever he had and to just write me a letter. I LOVE LETTERS.

Well, he opened up all of his presents from me, and i opened all mine from his family, so the lone box was the one from andy... inside was... THE HOODIE I WANTED!!

Then he gets up ( well hobbled, he tore ligaments in his ankle playing basketball on Monday) and handed me this envelope. I open it up and it's the sweetest letter

but at the end he says, "I have one more surprise for you, go to my safe to see what it is"

So, we both walk over there and i open the door and there are pictures of us everywhere, and after his directions of how to get the safe open i opened it to find more pictures & a box with the most beautiful ring.

He grabbed the box and got down on one knee & asked me to marry him!

It was all so surreal and I was freaking out. Excited, scared, happy, shocked all in about 2.4 seconds.

He told me that he's had the ring for about a week and he just

couldn't wait any longer to give it to me.

Even though he was limited by crutches, he still got down on one knee & even lifted me up. What a stud. Once it set in, we were both extremely excited and couldn't wait to tell everyone.

We had gone ring shopping and talked about getting engaged,

but it is a whole different story when it actually happens!

Andy said the guy at Warner told him that

"even if she knows it's coming, it's always a surprise" and IT WAS!!

Andy's house is now the hot spot for engagements.

That makes TWO within a month.

When we got back to my house I walked in through the door and

flashed my ring and my mom screamed bloody murder.

We had family over for dinner and everyone came to see what all the commotion was about, and it just kept getting louder.

All of my family LOVES Andy & they were threatening to adopt him if we didnt get married!

Our Christmas dinner turned into an engagement party dinner of sorts, and truly felt like a celebration having all of my family together!

I seriously feel like the luckiest girl in the world,

although he tries to convince me that HE is the lucky one

[but we all know the truth, I SCORED]

It blows our mind to think about how we met and started dating,

we often say that we "fell out of the sky" & into each other's arms.

From BYU, to Ohio when we started our facebook turned texting turned phone chatting friendship, to fresno when we actually met, and both knew that

THIS WAS IT.

"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky"

Siddharta Guatama

i am one lucky girl, but i was quickly reminded while in my blissful oblivion

that i have lots of work to do!

Now onto the planning.

A major plus with a Christmas engagement is that you have lots of time

to plan while off from school!

These next couple of weeks are sure to be exciting.

Any tips, or finds would be great!

We want SIMPLE, an afternoon luncheon

aka. no 2000lbs of tulle decorating the church gym.

Also reception location ideas would be great as well!

No cultural halls need apply.

Does anybody have any honeymoon destination suggestions?

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

ps does this mean i need to switch to a MARRIED BLOG?

feliz naviSTACHE

2009-12-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

andy & i traveled south this weekend to orange for

the first annual

FELIZ NAVISTACHE

Frank won the shirt above for his amazing moustache.

moustaches + ghetto mexi attire/// native mexican atire = a feliz navistache party.

politically correct, no.

offensive? no.

there were many full blooded mexican descendants sporting gear.

fun? absolutely.

meet frank & tasia.

yes, his moustache is REAL.

they were nice enough to let us crash with them.

Andy & Frank played baseball together back in the days of Fresno State.

[unfortunately i don't have pics with the rest of the moustache supporters]

I chose to go authentic mexican mariachi dancer status

and andy was thhuuugg mexi.

i scored that awesome t-shirt at plato's closet along with a virgin mary necklace.

doesn't he look like channing tatum from behind in step up???

it was such a fun weekend and we topped it off by eating where andy fell in love with this summer while in newport beach:

JOE'S CRAB SHACK.

"the ocean has crabs on its bottom"

suuccchhh a good weekend,

NOW WE'VE JUST GOT TO CONVINCE OUR BOYS TO SHAVE!!

fa la la la la la...

2009-12-18T15:56:00.000-08:00

um... straight A's feel good.

despite working 30 hrs+/wk

having the most wonderful boyfriend in the world, and wanting to spend every second with him.

i pulled it off.

somehow.

the seemingly impossible.

this nursing school thing is REALLY going to happen.

now that final grades are in,

LET CHRISTMAS BREAK BEGIN.

andy & i are celebrating by heading down to southern california,

visiting these two [andy's friend from baseball] & going to a mexican party.

red lipstick + handlebar mustaches are always recipes for success.

bulldogs vs cougars

2009-12-15T15:36:00.000-08:00

On Saturday night Andy, Brian, Sergio & I went to the BYU vs Fresno State basketball game, along just about every LDS member in fresno county...

While attending BYU, I occasionally would go and cheer for my fellow cougars.

However, it was a welcome change attending a basketball game here:

notice the sunshine & palm trees?

that's how it's supposed to be...

rather than making a trip similar to this one just to get inside

Now that I'm home in Bulldog territory, I found myself rooting for FRESNO STATE.

gooo dogs : )

Does this make me a traitor?

Or does leaving BYU justify a loyalty change... ?

ps does anyone know of any BYU fans that are NOT MORMON?

vampires suck...

2009-12-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

literally.

i dont understand the obsession with twilight,
someone enlighten me.
yes, i saw the movie.
yes, i read the books.
however, fantasy creatures do not translate into dreamy boyfriends.
personally, i'd rather date a walrus.

i mean honestly.
let's look at the cold hard evidence.

Exhibit A.
meet edward.
pasty, nasty disposition, wants to eat you, likes to watch you sleep, can't be in the sun & cold to cuddle with

Exhibit B
Meet Andy
nicest guy, fun, wants to feed you (not EAT), likes to fall asleep with you, loves to lay in the sun on the beach, warms you up by cuddling

Personally, exhibit B proves that reality is better than fantasy.
thankyouverymuch.
I'd hate to turn into one of these...

but like i said, enlighten me...
maybe im missing something?

jill of all trades

2009-12-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

if you know me... i have a tendency to acquire multiple jobs.
this summer happened to be four.
(coaching swim + nannying + nannying again + dental office)

However, with school this semester I've narrowed it down to two with an occasional three.

I have the best job.. well jobs in the world.
I spend MOST of my time as a nanny for the most adorable boy, Brennan.
Today we made edible play-doh.
(PB + honey + powdered sugar)
Isn't he just adorable?

When I'm not nannying, you will find me here:

I work at Bella Vita transferring all paper medical records to electronic ones with other college kids (all strangely enough Clovis West grads).
It is stimulating work, and I think Evan summed it up best yesterday by saying,
"What I love most about working here, is that everyday is something new. A new challenege. I never know what to expect."
I don't know if you can detect the slight hint of sarcasm there. haha
Needless to say, I LOVE the people there.
Although in 2 weeks I will be relieved of computer duties to deliver holiday goody baskets to medical offices in the valley. wahoooo. Nothing like bringing joy to offices : )

However, if you can't find me at the plastic surgery office, I am most likely wearing these:

yes, baby phat scrubs (in black) at dr. malan's office as his receptionist. ha
Again, LOVE the people. haha.
I love Tina's boyfriends porno tattoos.
Give Ashley boyfriend advice.
And Amy &everyone else in the office tries to convince me that dental hygiene is WAY better than nursing. haha
Somehow I manage to unintentionally make everyone laugh when I go in.

The other week blinds were being installed and the lady called and needed to speak to doctor.
So of course, I go over into his office and tell him "doctor, the blind lady is on the phone for you"
I swear he looked at me for like 10 seconds and then Ashley bursts up laughing...
Then I had to clarify, "no! she's not blind. hahaha. the blinds. window coverings"
He even cracked a little laugh, and dentists are hard to crack.
haha.

I can definitely see patterns in the progression of the jobs that I've had.
Here comes the timeline.

Retail:
-abercrombie kids (ha!)
-the bread mill ( one of my favorites : )
-jamba juice ( If you ever want to know where all the crazies are in your town.. go here. That's where they are allll working. hahahahah ohmygosh. SO MUCH FUN! However, it is a hard job! )

Kids:
-nannying for h.s. counsleor's girls
-swim america swim coach
-nanny for bricen + brielle
- nanny for gregory's

Nannies come and nannies go, but are never far away... They leave a lasting impression, its their attitudes that stay.
-nanny for brennan ( NOW )

The Medical Stage:
-Dr. Malan's office, dental receptionist
- Bella Vita/ Regional Hand Center

I feel like this last stage is going to stick : )
miss nurse lauren needs to hurry up already.

meet the family.

2009-11-30T21:57:00.000-08:00

pictures are in...
sneak a peak.

featured:
momma, karen.
step-pops, roger
oldest sister, kristin
sister's hubby, clark
nephew, wyatt
little sister, kayla
little brother, logan

i'm not sure which one you'll be getting in the mail this year. . .
nicole madsen did an amazing job : )

california fall.

2009-11-27T14:01:00.000-08:00

i think i'm in love.

i like this whole being home thing.

we headed out this afternoon and took family pictures.

it was literally raining leaves & absolutely picture perfect.

My sister Kristin & I snuck these few with my camera while the photographer was getting the

boys.

I was put in charge this year of the wardrobe styling, and I think they are going to turn out

smoking hot.

The orchard was behind the cutest little ranch home.

I WANT a mini-farm much like the one that they had.

[Put in a good word for santa for me ( : ]

The most friendly horse, billy goats and a handful of chickens.

perfection.

alternative forms of birth control

2009-11-22T22:47:00.001-08:00

makemebabies.com.
you might re-think ever having children.
case in point.

i think i might be looking into genetic counseling.
on second thought, maybe one of these would be a better idea.

I'm adding it to my Christmas wish list.
On sale for only $34.97 at Wal-Mart

features:

Baby Born needs your little girl to take good care of her. She'll love to feed her, give her water, change her diaper, and, when she is ready, place her on her potty.

Realistic Baby Features:

She "drinks"

She "pees"

She "eats"

She "poops"

She cries real tears

Moveable arms

Moveable legs

Her eyes close when she is laid on her back

Quite a STEAL considering a REAL child costs $266,698
don't believe me?
check it out here.

under the mistletoe

2009-11-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

1) andy & i went to home depot the other day & are now the proud parents of:
A VENUS FLY TRAP & assorted other plants + pots.
we planted each of the plants and their new home is in his kitchen window.
home-y. i know. ha. We also picked up a Christmas-y tablecloth. (I figured that I had to act quickly! Anding was talking about getting a CAMO tablecloth!!! haha) It is looking less and less like a bachelor pad by the second. haaaa.

2) i made persimmon cookies yesterday. They are absolutely delicious and use less fat since the fruit takes the place of alot of butter. ( : mmm they taste like the holidays. If you want to make some I can drop some persimmons by, WE HAVE TONS!

3)Andy has gotten me addicted to home alone. Yes, obsessed. ps. I just realized the updated creeper in the first picture. I didn't know that he was there at first, but I like. RIP MJ. I feel so festive watching these two movies and cuddling up which brings me to...

4)BLANKETS and CUDDLING! The cold has come, even though the sun is still shining, it at least feels cold. haha. For christmas, I made Andy a huge fleece tie blanket with this bear + moose pattern (simliar to the one on the bottom) backed with a faint camo. It is GORGEOUS and comfy and all things good. So good in fact, that I couldn't wait until Christmas to give it to him. We broke it in last night and it is "the best blanket ever" according to andy. That's one thing that I'm not good at surprises... or maybe delaying gratification. I just can't wait to give presents!!! Luckily, he's has lots more coming. haha. I'm rationing the rest.

5) I've been listening to Christmas Music... NONSTOP. I am obssessed. 98.9. It will change your life.
Oh, I just LOVE the holidays.

how to get on santa's nice list:

2009-11-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

make THIS for your friends and family.

just be sure to share! (unless you want some extra friends hanging out on your hips)

check out the recipe here.

she has absolutely THE best recipes.

They all look delicious ( :

a few of my favorite things as of lately

2009-11-04T10:41:00.000-08:00

1) this boy puts the biggest smile on my face.
I even like it when he brings home duck from hunting for me to make duck tacos. haha.
Although, he's winning over everyone's heart a little too quickly.
My mom told me the other day, "well we love Andy as much as we love you so he's welcome anytime"
My reply, "Wait I thought I had 19 extra years on him, doesn't that count for anything"?
Apparantly quality over quantity and he is one quality guy.

2) insanity. andy's roommate sergio got this to get ready for the CHP and we all hopped on board. If you are looking to DIE this work out is for you. 50 minutes of THE most intense workout of your life. What claims to be the hardest workout dvd definitely delivers. From the same producers of P-90X, insanity focuses on cardio along with muscle toning. Don't say I didn't warn you... ( : youtube it here Or contact me and jump on board. Andy, Brian, Sergio and I do it in Andy's garage/aka gym.

3) career switch. So after thinking about dental hygiene for a very long time and nursing for an even longer time I've decided that I'm going to NURSING SCHOOL. I'm going to join the masses of these crazies.

Good news is that the nursing pre-reqs are the same for dental hygiene so I'm still on track. I feel like it will be a better fit and a little bit more creativity needed. I am seriously excited about it. I was apprehensive about being able to get into a school since it's extremely competitive, but where there's a will there's a way... right? I most likely will end up going to an accelerated program bypassing all the lottery admissions .

4) homemade pizza.
trader joes whole wheat pizza dough + sauce + tomatoes + a little bit of cheese + lean canadian bacon + pineapple = DELICIOUS.
the dough that is supposed to make one pizza, we get two with a little creative stretching and it's only around $1!!
Andy and I are sort of obsessed.
Who says pizza cant be healthy?
When you make it yourself you can take out all the grease and replace it with your favorite veggies/fruit.

5) the holidays are around the corner.
Andy & I the other day made #4 on the list and then watched elf in celebration of Christmas approaching.
I can't wait for breaks from school and work and a little Christmas spirit.
Turkey day will also be quite exciting with TWO dinners this year.
I will DEFINITELY be doubling up on insanity workouts : )

Oh, did I mention that my sister and her little troublemaker will be making their way West? haha oh little wyatt, 9 months and walking.

Not to mention the traditional Christmas tree lane stroll with a hunky hand in mine.

oh life is good.

no more coookies!

2009-10-26T12:32:00.001-07:00

Work today:
Making a million cookies & watching the little pumpkin ( Brennan ) : )
I have the BEST JOB ever, however I don't plan on making cookies until at least next halloween.

sto lat!

2009-10-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Roseville; Michelle, Leslie and I started a tradition of singing the polish version of happy birthday:

Sto lat, sto lat, niech zyje zyje nam.
Good luck, good cheer, may you live a hundred years. Sto lat, sto lat, niech zyje zyje nam.
Good luck, good cheer, may you live a hundred years. Jeszcze raz, jeszcze raz, niech zyje, zyje nam.
Good luck, good cheer, may you live a hundred years. One hundred years!

Me and my POLISH SISTERS back in the day .
we all have polish heritages. cool, huh?
Michelle is legit though, and she's the one who taught us the song.

The Point of all that translation & explanation:
I STOLAT-ED IT UP THIS WEEKEND!!!
I am 4 (this picture) x 5!!!
that's pretty old..
although I am happy to say that I am ready to leave my teenage years behind!
I feel like I've been in my twenties for a while though.
Now reality is finally catching up : )

My actual birthday was on Friday, the same day as a Halloween dance was going down.
Soooo... I decided to have a little dinner dress up pre-dance party.
Can you guess who we are?

Can't you see it???
COWBOY AND INDIAN
or
POCAHONTAS & JOHN SMITH

I channeled my inner native american.
Below is proof of my cherokee hertiage.
Check out my pops.
He is dark all over, then i'm this white blondie.
ha.
The only thing dark i seemed to get are my eyebrows + lashes!
Crazy... althought they came in handy to match the WIG : )

haha...
okay, so we were sort of a modern intrepration...
i didn't want to go all out, since it WAS my birthday.
But my shirt has feathers printed on it,
and a tie with feathers on it...
and Andy wore his cowboy boots, pearl snap shirt
and even upgraded with a cowboy hat later in the evening.

Andy gave me my birthday present after dancing and yummy food.
He is such a sweetheart & a goooood gifter : )
no, it was NOT a ring for all you crazies out there. haha.

The next day we headed out to...

SANTA CRUZ!
We made a pitstop at Gilroy's outlets and Andy let me go shopping!
He kept talking about how he is going to take me to Bass Pro Shop,
I think he's thinking that that's going to be some kind of revenge...
I admit, I like to take my time while I shop and I was loving Saks Fifth.
I ended up with two shirts that I am in love with.
I even changed into one for the below photos
( I had worn long sleeves thinking we were going to Monterey... then we changed our minds)

We headed over to the boardwalk...

BUT ended up finding a sunny spot, laid down our blanket and enjoyed the GORGEOUS Weather... and I enjoyed this handsome guy next me : )

We ended up stopping in Los Banos (yes, it really is called 'the bathrooms') at some hole in the wall mexican food place...
THE BURRITOS were so good.
You can always judge a good burrito by how uncomfortable you feel going into a restaurant.
Andy and I definitely didn't blend in.
But, you gotta do what you gotta do to get a good burrito : )
Andy even tried telling me that the reason they put so much cilantro on everything, is because it kills bacteria...
I'm sort of a skeptic, so I looked at up &...
OHMYGOSH... HE WAS RIGHT!
check it out, click here

It was a perfect day!
snaps for andy for being the best boyfriend ever

Today I am celebrating with my family.
I am looking forward to a menu consisting of: salmon red potatoes broccoli rolls and... drumroll please...

ice cream and cake do the ice cream and cake.
one of these beauties.
Of course, mine says HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN because my mom is THE BEST.
Andy & I were daydreaming about it in church.
chocolate cake + cookie dough ice cream = bliss.

I am a lucky girl to have so many wonderful people in my life.
My twenties are going to be my favorite, I can just feel it : )

big big big fresno fair

2009-10-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

Parker, Boris, Pat, Bethany, Lauren, Brendan, Lindee, Andy & I all headed over to the:
Big. BIG. big. Fresno Fair last night.
It was soo much fun : )
Sorry for the lack of a group picture, miss lindee has that in her camera.

Why Andy is the coolest: exhibit A.
helloooo camo. ha.
not to mention to not so apparent deer head on his shirt.

the cows were seriously trying to kill each other.
I was concerned.
mad. cow. period.

in the reptile room I FOUND A TOUCAN.
aka fruit loop mascot.
I tried to take a picture by the cage then this fine gentleman BROUGHT IT OUT : )
The first words out of reptile's man mouth were:
"Dont worry, HE BITES... but it doesnt hurt,
oh and he doesn't like girls for some reason"
hello, have you seen a toucan's beak?!
haha.

I drew a crowd from this toucan charade.
Everyone wanted to know why this bird was attacking me.

lesson learned from the day: I am not so photogenic. No candid shots for me.
They sure are fun to look at though. ha.

sometimes, i google stalk my boytriend.

2009-10-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

because he's a STUD.

I'm honestly the LUCKIEST girl in the world.
He has the biggest heart of anyone that I have ever met.
He is sweet, caring, hilarious, brilliant, and smoking hot if you ask me ; )
Hands down the best, most genuine guy that I have ever known.
Everyone loves Andy, I just happen to love him most. : )
He even surprises me with these on a regular basis just because he knows they're my favorite.

perfection in a man.
there's nothing more that I could ask for.

quote wall

2009-10-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

print.
add frames.
These make the cut for MY wall : )
love graphic inspiration.

wal-mart 2 for $11!!!

thank you etsy.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31097686
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6311998
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32534611&ref=sr_gallery_21&&ga_search_query=inspirational+prints&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=5&order=date_desc&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title
http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.40174779.jpg
http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.95893870.jpg
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32572852
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32438834

I've got a perfect body, but sometimes I forget. I've got a perfect body, 'cause my eyelashes catch my sweat- regina spektor

2009-10-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

What is fat talk week?

1st watch this video

Clara said, “One day at a dance, people were calling me fat. I ran to the bathroom, crying so much that I ran into the door. Hearing girls laughing behind, I race into a stall and stay there for about ten minutes, to afraid to come out. Finally, when I thought I had cried myself out, I walked out of the bathroom and splashed my face with water. On the mirror was a note: “Honey, stand up for yourself. You are BEAUTIFUL! www.operationbeautiful.com" I took this note down, and it has changed my whole life. THANK YOU!”

real twitters from one college sorority:
"Yay, room is booked...now to lose half my body weight stat."

"I need to lose some weight before the NYC trip. I'm going for the skeletor look."

"Lesson of the day: thin to win."

"But I had to eat it because I only had one meal today. Ok I'm shutting up now. I'm sure I will continue to lose weight. One meal won't stop that."

"Fasted yesterday. How much weight did I lose? Fricking NONE!!! ARRGH!!!

"I was happy when I was thin."

"Ate too much. Feeling fat. Thinking thin. Starvation diet in place."

"Surviving on bread. Feel so thin already. HuHu!"

The struggle with the “Thin Ideal”

taken from www.endfattalk.com

She’s your mother, your daughter. She’s your neighbor or your best friend. No matter what you call her or the role she plays in your life… she’s a woman. And if she’s like most women, she’s struggled with body image dissatisfaction at one time in her life.

The term “body image” is used to describe how someone feels about his or her body. It’s about more than just physical appearance; it’s about one’s psychological thoughts and feelings, too. “Do I look okay? Am I pretty enough? Do I even fit in here? If I could just lose 5 more pounds or tone my thighs, I know they’d like me…”

Unfortunately, women everywhere are burdened with thoughts of negative body image—the thought that they might not measure up to the “thin ideal.” And these thoughts are only confirmed by retailers, magazine articles, runway models, TV commercials and movie trailers, who perpetuate an unattainable—and certainly unhealthy—ideal body type.

Did you know that Barbie, the best selling fashion doll in the world, has unattainable and unhealthy body proportions? If she were alive, her waist would be smaller than patients with anorexia nervosa, and she would be unable to menstruate (Dittmar, Halliwell, & Ive, 2006). Research has shown that very young girls (ages 5-7) who are exposed to Barbie have lower body esteem and want a thinner body than they have.

Did you know that fashion models are thinner than 98% of women in the United States (Smolak, 1996)? According to the National Eating Disorders Association, the average woman is 5’4” tall and weighs 140 pounds. Yet not surprisingly, the average model is 5’11” tall and weighs only 117 pounds.
Did you know that more than half of American girls ages 18-25 would rather be hit by a truck than be fat? More than two-thirds would rather be mean or stupid. In her 2007 book Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters, Courtney Martin notes that 90% of high-school-aged girls think they are overweight.

It’s been suggested that body image dissatisfaction in females is a key factor in predicting unhealthy weight control behaviors as well as the development of some eating disorder symptoms. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any psychological disorder and are one of the most prevalent disorders found in young women (Fairburn, Cooper, Doll, Norman, & O’Connor, 2000).

So whether she’s your sister or your coworker, a girl in your class or just a woman you know… it’s likely that she’s struggled with body image – just like you. Why should you care? Because we believe that body image is neither a sorority issue nor a collegiate issue. Body image dissatisfaction is a women’s issue. ‘And we believe it’s time to take a stand.

Would you believe?

81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat. 51% of 9 and 10 year old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet.
(Mellin LM, Irwin CE & Scully S, 1992)

Per Time Magazine, there is an 80% chance she has been on at least one diet by the time she is in fourth grade.

In the United States...

More than 2/3 of women ages 18-25 would rather be mean or stupid than be fat and over 50% would rather be hit by a truck.
(Martin, 2007)

1 in 4 women have avoided engaging in a physical activity or sport because they feel badly about the way they look.
(Dove, Beyond Stereotypes: Rebuilding the Foundation of Beauty Beliefs)

According to a national survey, 60% of adolescent girls are currently trying to lose weight(1) and more than 50% have engaged in unhealthy weight control behaviors such as fasting, skipping meals, vomiting or smoking in the past year(2). Girls who use dangerous weight control behaviors like vomiting are more likely to attempt suicide(3).
(1)http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/yrbs/pdf/yrbss07_mmwr.pdf; (2)Neumark-Sztainer, Story, Hannan, Perry, & Irving, 2002; (3)Crow, Eisenberg, Story, & Neumark-Sztainer, 2008)

Adolescent girls who are less satisfied with their bodies engage in less physical activity.
(Neumark-Sztainer, Paxton, Hannan, Haines, & Story, 2006)

Fashion models are thinner than 98% of women.
(Smolak, 1996)

As many as 10 million females are suffering from anorexia or bulimia. That's more than are suffering from breast cancer.
(National Eating Disorder Association)

Today I promise to eliminate Fat Talk from conversations with my friends, my family and myself.

Starting now, I will strive for a healthy ideal, which I know looks different for every woman, and focuses on health, not weight or size.

I will celebrate the things about myself and the women in my life that have nothing to do with how we look.

I decide to end Fat Talk NOW!

click to sign pledge

We need more of this:

On its own, the picture may not seem that incredible, but after flipping through 193 pages of uniform sample-size models, the image is striking. Rather than thinning her via Photoshop or having her sit in an unnatural pose, the model is shown with a bit of belly hanging over her underwear and slightly-bulging thighs, looking happy and genuinely confident. As Leive says, we've gotten to the point where showing a woman with folds in her skin or a belly that sticks out (who isn't in a "before and after" feature) is a radical move for a women's magazine, even though that's what every woman actually sees in the mirror every day.

Leive identifies the model as 20-year-old Lizzi Miller, who is "size 12-14 and avid softball player/belly dancer." Miller says of the fan mail she's receiving:

"When I read them I got teary-eyed!" she says. "I've been that girl, flipping through magazines trying to find just one person who looked a little bit like me. And when I didn't find it I would start to think there's something wrong with the way that I looked. When J. Lo and Beyoncé came out and were making curves sexy, I started to accept myself more. It's funny, but just seeing them look and feel sexy enabled me to do the same"

The November issue of Glamour is highlighting "real sized" women.

My Story

Growing up, I was naturally thin... minus my early childhood ( 30lbs at 6 months!!) haha yikes. I never had to worry about weight. However, I moved to fresno and it seemed like everyone was asking, "how are you so thin? what do you eat? etc". I had never really thought about those things before.. I never had to. However, I began to feel this pressure that I NEEDED to be concerned with what I ate. I started to notice that natural curves (ie puberty, i was a "late bloomer") were coming, and I perceived this as me being fat! I restricted what I ate significantly and exercised whenever I ate something "bad". I was fighting my own body! I remember there was even a time when I stopped having my periods. This was not healthy. I remember just fixating on food. All I could think about was, "what is going to be my next meal... what can I eat for the lowest calories... or how could I have eaten all of that"
This fixation opened my eyes up to that this was not healthy!
I didn't want my life to revolve around food!
If all I could think about was being thin, what GOOD could I accomplish?
I would avoid activities that involved food, or eating out, etc...
I couldn't trust myself around food.. the enemy.
Needless to say, I was very thin.
However, in my mind... I felt like I still had alot of work to do.

senior year

I remember looking at myself in the mirror that morning and thinking that my stomach wasn't flat enough & feeling "fat"
Then, one day, I remember going to someone's house for lunch with a bunch of other people.
I was starrvvviingg, but they were having frito chili boats.
Those were definitely "bad food" in my book.
If I were to eat those, I would definitely get "fat"
However, I found out after eating them, that my shape didn't change!
That's when the lightbulb went off.
I gradually started trying to change.
Slowly.
I know that is sounds so ridiculous, but disordered eating isn't logical.
It doesn't make sense.
From that point on, things didn't miraculously change,
to be honest I still struggle.
I still drop the 'f" bomb quite frequently (fat)
However, I'm trying to shift the focus to healthy.
I think that now I am definitely at my healthy weight.
Just by allowing my body to meet it's needs,
my shape has drastically changed.
I was seriously restricting my body of all curves!!!
Now... I've got curves
I've even had people look at old pictures and me now and ask if I have had a boob job.
I compare the two pictures and can't believe how different I look.
You know what, my body knew...
I am my own kind of beautiful, I just had to let it shine through.

I've got a perfect body, but sometimes I forget. I've got a perfect body, 'cause my eyelashes catch my sweat- regina spektor

please check out this blog.
she discusses her battles with "ned", her eating disorder

trick or treat

2009-10-10T17:32:00.000-07:00

On October 31st,
watch the streets.
A lion and a hunter will be on the prowl .
Yup, that's right.
Andy and I decided on our costumes.
However, instead of actually shopping, I just decided to polyvore outfits.
It costs less and unlimited budgets are always a plus.
Maybe I'll just print this up and tape this to my shirt.
"No, really... I planned a costume."
haha... for some reason I doubt that it will have the same effect.

lion halloween by laurenista featuring Diane von Furstenberg

saturday school.

2009-10-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

i'm sort of in love with this

can't stop laughing from this

want to be done with Saturday classes

so I can pick up one of these

happy weekend.
enjoy watching cartoons in pjs for me : )
or if you're andy, riding rollercoasters at Magic Mountain.

the perks of being a part of the illegal fresno resident patrol

2009-10-07T12:12:00.000-07:00

Andy and I just celebrated the big FOUR MONTHS on Monday.

It seems that everyone keeps asking, "well, how'd you meet"?
our response, "facebook"
yes. really. i did meet andy through facebook!
Although we sometimes throw "eharmony" in there for kicks.
Surprisingly, reactions are no longer as shocked as you'd expect.
With the rise of the technology generation dating has soared to new heights.
Alright, alright so here's the low down:

Once upon a time, I was in Ohio; Columbus to be exact. My sister Kristin, had to go back to work for a month to receive her maternity leave benefits so I flew out to be her live-in nanny for a month.
(Then)
(Now)
meet Wyatt Emerson.
He is hands down the cutest nephew anyone could ask for.

While in Ohio, I was getting ready for my transition from attending BYU to moving back home to California. Scoping out the Fresno scene, I would hop onto the computer and check out what everyone was up to. Figuring that I was going to be single for a while,(I mean come on... it's fresno, right?) I was just seeing who was going to be in town, who was staying, etc. That is until I came across this picture on my cousin's page.

"A new guy in fresno, who's tall dark and handsome"??? haha I had to see what in the world was this guy's story. I messaged my cousin megan, and she was like, "oh, andy? very sweet guy, makes the best out of life. used to play minor league baseball."
Sure enough, I asked others and the good things kept flowing.
So, being the proactive person I am.. not one to sit around waiting, I sent him this:

subject: Dear illegal resident of Fresno
who are you? i thought i knew everyone, but apparently not. i'm headed home for summer, and i've been facebook stalking all things fresno and you keep popping up. i'm lauren. just thought i'd skip the awkward introductions and acquaintance phase and just automatically become friends on facebook. ha

He got it right away and sent me a facebook chat message, we exchanged numbers.. started texting... alot. haha
ohmygoodness. right away, i knew that this guy was something special.

I asked him what his voice sounds like, and he answered "fergie with a bit of jesus"
haha.
"oh he is a keeper" i thought.
My trick worked though : )
That night he called.

We started talking eveerryyy night.

He went on a trip with a bunch of people in fresno up to go four wheeling in hollister
and he told me beforehand that he didnt think that he had service...
but that night I got a call and during the day I got texts.
I come to find out that
he was driving up on to the top of a hill in order to get service to talk to me!andy (in his samurai) and group

It became a tradition, no matter what at night I'd get a phone call.
I'd call him at 2am after going on a dates (10pm fresno time) and we'd just talk and talk...
who knew that guys flock to ohio in the summer, aka sales guys. haha. disregard the blinding whiteness, it IS ohio afterall.

Ohmygoodness... I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO FRESNO.
I don't think that I've ever felt that way before.
I was having so much fun in Ohio, but there was something about this guy that was very special...

We set up a time to go on a date...
3 HOURS AFTER I FLEW IN : )
we went to olive garden, tried on western garb at the boot barn and watched a movie.

this is on our second date... the clovis farmer's market

That first date just felt SO natural.
We came back to Andy's house and were watching a movie and his sister walked in and was like, "who is this"?
We just felt like we had known each other forever...
Of course we waited a week before making it official.
Another week later (we had to wait, of course) we said my favorite three words.
I love you.
The rest, my friends is history.

We celebrated, yes, the big FOUR is worth celebrating.
I feel like month anniversaries are like valentine's day...
and excuse to express love and i'm all for excuses if that's what it takes.

Andy came home to:
homemade lentil soup
Andy had been BEGGING me to make it since having it at my house.
&
hot homemade bread

I am crazy in love with Andy Underwood.
He is seriously the BEST guy that I know.
I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there." -Bob Marley

i'm making a place for this is my future home:

2009-09-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

these things, i know. part one.

2009-09-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Lately, the more contemplation that goes down...
the more that i realize that I DON'T KNOW.
The desire to travel, to explore, to immerse to live is strong.
I believe that truth isn't centrally located but rather scattered throughout and it is my job as a being to travel and gather as much TRUTH and GOOD possible.
While absolute knowledge is lacking and answers to countless questions remain left to be found, these things I do know:

1)Happiness is irrelevant to circumstance.
As humans we will ALWAYS be acted against. Within every moment we choose our reactions. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE & your happiness. Own up to the choices that you've made... the things that you can't control MAKE THE MOST OF THEM.

Stop telling yourself that:
when you lose weight
when you meet that certain someone
when you graduate
when you have children
when you finally get away
or
if only i had brown hair
if only my parents weren't abusive
if only someone loved me,
that you will be happy... NEWSFLASH!!!! you wont.
If you're not happy, circumstance will not make you happy from an unhappy state.
It's not when, make it now or be miserable forever.
Wants will always arise... unattainable, insatiable wants that will never dissipate.
Love yourself, be happy with what you have and you will attract more good in the world that you know what to do with.

2) Love is what it's all about
As part of the human experience the greatest thing that can be experienced is LOVE. To love, and to allow others to love you. Embracing faults, not mere acceptance and seeing others in a glorified potential of light and possibility. Loving for not one has DONE, but for who one IS. To give without expectation of receiving... then receiving it back ten fold.
Love is life. Love is a choice just as life is choice.
You CAN choose who you love.
Stop waiting for it to happen. . . start loving. It is within your control. LET GO. be vulnerable. expose yourself. It's worth it, i promise.

3) Fear is the largest handicap

Working with a vast amount of adolescents and children with "disabilities" I came to realize that IN NO WAY are they disabled. We are "diss"ing their "abilities" when really we should look to them as an example. Working at break the barriers coaching swim to children of alllll abilities, volunteering for special olympics, and tutoring adolescents in ceramics I have been around a large group of heroes and heroines. They BELIEVE in themselves, and you know what? THEY ACCOMPLISH. We left the fear of failing so often CRIPPLE US. Life is about learning how to rid yourself of fear and become what you feel within. FLOURISH. If you dont, then your whole life is wasted. Believe in yourself. Get in touch with what you really want... then DO IT. So what is you fail? Isnt not trying also a form of failure? IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN If YOU DONT TRY.

made you think.

2009-09-18T11:23:00.001-07:00

the sky was flooded with
HOT AIR BALLOONS
as i drove to work today.
I loved looking up and seeing them hover over rite aid, up and down the streets.
thank you woodward park festival of balloons.

All of my neighbors (people in other cars) were staring in awe.
I love how unexpected and beautiful this thing called life is.

Last night I had a good discussion.
You know those life ones.
Full of "what ifs"& "i thinks"
those are sort of my favorite.

everyone has a different take on what this thing called life is all about.
An explanation, a cause for order. . .
there is no shortage for attempts of an explanations
click here

PREFACE:
in no one way am i degrading any belief, just rather putting inner dialogue that exists in many others minds including my own...

Anyone who has studied the humanities, sociology, along with basics of science understands that everything exists merely as an EXPLANATION, a categorization of things that just cant be explained.
As humans we want everything to fit into little packages.
WE WANT TO KNOW WHY.
I don't know about you, I guess this is just ME...
but hear me out.
When I was little I think that every other word out of my mouth was "why".
why this? why that?
why authority?
This inquisitive nature as I got older sort of stopped... or at least slowed down.
Everything was handed to me in a NICE LITTLE PACKAGE!
Just what I wanted.
In this case it was in the form of religion.
It told me who to hang out with, what I wanted to do, What I should do, What I shouldn't do, What to believe, and how to be happy.
HELLO!!! How easy is that?
The danger is that you lose your curiousity... the search for truth!
Automatic acceptance of all doctrine from ANY SOURCE, or church in this case is dangerous.

Thank you Buddha.

Somewhere along the way I lost my voice and my reason.
Religion I've realized is not a destination, but rather a mechanism.
Nor should it be all enveloping. . .

A PIECE of my life. Not MY LIFE.

Nobody really KNOWS what the ultimate truth is.
Really knows.
Shoot, I've convinced myself that I "knew without a doubt"
BUT... i had doubts.
All the convincing in the world can't erase that gnawing suspicion...

I'm not talking about "believes" but KNOW in your heart of hearts, deepest deepest thoughts... down to the part where it's scary to think that its not.
Is enough to devote your entire life to one thing for the "just in case approach"
"Well even if what I believe isnt true, at least I'm a good person"
Then the question arises, then what constitutes good, since those guidelines become null and void.

The beginnings of religion began in order to explain things that couldnt be explained...
HELLO NICE LITTLE PACKAGE.
Why are the seas stormy?
Oh, well pray to the god of the seas if you want a safe voyage.
When he gets upset, you're in for a bumpy ride.
Read Odysseus. it's chalk full of these types of Gods.
God of wisdom... etc.

These explanations bring peace, order and understanding. . . .
BUT WHAT REALLY IS TRUTH?

All we are is a series of events.
Regrets have no place in life.
From mistakes comes new knowledge, truth.
In the absense of an event, that knowledge/experience is erased.
We cease to remain who we were before "Turning back time"

I think in order to find truth one must first and foremost be HONEST.
with oneself.
erase any preconceived thoughts.
what has been taught.
how you've been taught.
in addition--> Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis

take everything at face value.
CONFRONT the fear that comes realizing that what you thought to be true, may not be.
Whether you want to admit it or not... truth is truth and will reign.

Once you render that fear powerless...
that's where peace comes and
the search for truth prevails.

If you are doing what you believe will lead you to happiness... TRUE happiness, and you aren't happy.
CHANGE SOMETHING!
Ideas, thoughts, beliefs are meant to evolve, grow and flourish... LET THEM.

FIND TRUTH.
STOP AND THINK.
LET YOURSELF THINK.
THINKING CAN BE SCARY.
WHAT'S SCARIER IS TO NOT.
LIVE YOUR LIFE DELIBERATELY.

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.

more beans.

2009-09-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

When I was a baby... I was a CHUNK.

30 LBS. at 6 months, I was hefty by any terms.
You can only guess what my first sentence was...

MORE BEANS!

haha ohmygoodness...
this past week I have rekindled my love for beans.

CONS:
They sort of have a bad rap ..

beans, beans the magical fruit,
the more you eat the more you toot.
the more you toot,
the better you feel
SO LETS HAVE BEANS FOR EVERY MEAL

Thank you elementary school for my nutritional knowledge.
Yes, they have fiber...
if you're used to only big macs and fries then maybe you'll experience some of the aforementioned side effects.

Back to the PROs list:
They are so delicious, versatile, annndd are a nutritional powerhouse.
Full of protein, fiber and double as a vegetable (not to mention that eating 2 cups/wk reduces your chances of diabetes by 40%).

9 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD EAT BEANS
http://www.blissplan.com/wellness-fitness/the-benefits-of-beans-9-reasons-why-you-should-eat-beans/

Some of my favorites:
Black Beans
-make a delicious addition to burritos & salads
White Beans
-mix them into soup/ spoon them over a baked potato

More beans?

http://www.self.com/fooddiet/blogs/healthybites/2009/09/recipe-roundup-beans-beans.html

ps: I WANT TO LIVE HERE

pps: got a gym membership yesterday to get my booty in shape. : )
ran 3 miles.
I decided that i am going to make myself become addicted to running.
What a wonderful vice... to NEED to run.

itunes. iworkout. i-need:

2009-09-16T11:14:00.000-07:00

tonight. we are going to get acquainted.

what's your favorite workout jams???
I need some uppity : )

boulders. berries. beans.

2009-09-15T22:10:00.000-07:00

Andy and I decided that today would be a greaaattt day to take a hike.
We went up past bass lake, don't ask me the coordinates, for those who know me know that directions are in no way my forte.

Anyways, we are told by andy's dad to take the right trail first, then the left...
well, we ended up on the right, which wasn't really a trail...
just HUGE BOULDERS.

haha quite entertaining actually.
but at the end was a beautiful waterfall.
WE COULDN'T FIND THE LEFT TRAIL FOR THE LIFE OF US.
So, up and down boulders for us.
Andy even gathered some berries which he was convinced were going to give him shiga toxin... AGAIN. haha but still he couldn't resist. Hopefully he's still alive tomorrow ; )
The weather was absolutely gorgeous and the surroundings breathtaking.
We had so much fun.
Finally as we were getting ready to leave we found the left trail!!!
Complete with bridges and flat ground!!! so nice.

we left our mark.. see if you can find it.

Following our hike we went to a local mexican restaurant and I had THE most delicious tostada (pronounced: toast TADA!) ever. lettuce. chicken. tomatoes. mmm! okay, that doesnt sound so great, but really it was delicious and only $4.50. woot. woot go ala cart menu items.
andy wasn't as fortunate.
he ordered a chicken burrito and found himself keeping company to a green pepper and onion (which according to andy= yuck) burrito with like two pieces of chicken.
no bueno.
ay yai yai!
However, it was still quite the day : ) Even yucky burritos couldnt bring us down.

Anyways, it was basically a perfect tuesday : )

you can't erase knowledge.

2009-09-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

First of all
Click here.

I've been busy.
With what you ask?

Andy decided it'd be fun to go on some dates to the emergency room...
I should have told him that he didn't need to get some deathly illness: aka shiga toxin in order to visit.
jussstt kidding.
Thursday officially was the worst day of his life.
It included:
getting a filling on a wisdom tooth { with me assisting dr. malan. andy let me use him as my guinea pig }
then getting dealthly ill.
visiting the emergency room at 11.
leaving the emergency room at 5.
visiting a 24 hr. walgreens across town to get prescription.
then repeating the emergency room scenario the next day.
YUCK.
he is doing MUCH better now : )
But for about 3 days straight I got a pretty good feel of what it's like to be the caretaker of a dying person.

Besides taking care of Andy, I've been keeping busy with this hunky cutie.

Brennan is officially the coolest, sweetest, most hilarious, adorable baby {almost one next month!}.
I'm lucky to be his nanny : )

oh.. & guess what!
I caught this whopper...
Yes.. you are seeing correctly! That sucker was at LEAST half of my upper arm in length.
hahahaha...
So, the fish weren't really biting that day something about full moons? ask andy...
Anyways. I did it! I'm officially a fisherwoman.

What else has been going on.
oh yes, andy and i have been busy getting fat.
aka eating more and exercising less... or zero.
ayyyyikes.
that's gotta change.
no more homemade pazookies. bagels. ice cream. take out. umm.. gross. we are disgusting.

if you see me reaching for that brownie, remind me how many miles i'd have to run to burn that off. hahaha.
=

In conclusion,

crazy about this boy...

2009-08-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

what is love.

2009-08-22T15:01:00.001-07:00

No. this is not a new jeopardy edition...
But seriously, WHAT IS love?

Everything in this world comes back by the desire to be LOVED.
money, power, you name it.
The underlying drive between every motive is to be loved or to take care of those that we love

Try it.

If only I was _richer_ I would be happy.
The purpose of money is to accumulate.
To further your position.
To be able to have people look up to you.
When people look up to you, they respect you.
Those whom which you respect you learn to love.

HOWEVER I AM NOT AT ALL IMPLYING THAT MONEY EQUATES TO HAPPINESS OR LOVE.

Some say that

a) love is a DRUG
b) love is a choice, it's all in your head
c) someone that you fall for, "girl can't help it"- thanks fergie
d) love is potentially fleeting... once you fall out of love, you can't do anything about it.

I think that we our own selves are our harshest critics. It is SO much easier to rattle off faults and weaknesses than it is for strengths, at least for me. It often takes another to see you for the good that you currently possess and for the possibilities of who you will become. This is not to say that another person will make you WHOLE.
FALSE.

I believe that any relationship built upon the notion of "completing each other" is destined for failure. Obviously, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and two people can fit together really well and accomplish tremendous feats. However, if one is not WHOLE and HAPPY with their self before getting involved with someone, it will result in heartbreak and compromised self esteem. Also, insecurity will manifest itself while dating and JEALOUSY the thing that taints trust and causes relationships to crumble will arise... not good news.

Now back to our potential answers

a) love is a DRUG
b) love is a choice, it's all in your head
c) someone that you fall for, "girl can't help it"- thanks fergie
d) love is potentially fleeting... once you fall out of love, you can't do anything about it.

a) I believe that LOVE IS A DRUG to those that have never felt whole before, that have never loved themselves. I've been in this position before. It is literally an addictive feeling to have someone care SO much about you that they would be willing to do anything so you could avoid hurt. Sounds pretty good.. right? However, like with any addition... too much is a problem. This kind of love you start to lose your own identity... since you never really loved yourself before, the argument can be posed that you didn't really have an establish sense of sense. When love is addictive, one often feels trapped. Terrified at the possibility of losing this established sense of SECURITY that the other person provides. Security and safety that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. However, this reassurance needs to come from within.

b) You choose who you love... Fear often prevents yourself from loving completely or also letting go. Being in love and giving of your entirety of soul is a daunting situation... what if someone sees all of your flaws? heaven forbid. Those are supposed to stay hidden, only WE can know what those are ... right? When you CHOOSE to let go and make yourself emotionally vulnerable is when you can freely love. This vulnerablitity is one of the most beautiful experiences. To be transparent is a liberating experience. To have someone KNOW all of you flaws and to still love you is sort of a surreal experience. How can somebody love someone that is so imperfect? However, love allows you to see the good. However, love can also be blind if one is too afraid to see flaws in the other person. This exchange and consideration of faults I believe is essential to being in love.

c) Chemistry.

Yes, I believe that some people are more compatible than others. However, LOVE IS A CHOICE. It takes courage to invest emotionally in another and to become vulnerable to potential hurt. Falling in love is more a realization that you really are starting to care about this person. You don't just all of the sudden realize in a split second, 'I love you. the end" However, some things I can't explain. Like, love at first sight.... I don't know how it works, but to an extent i'm a believer but in a different sense.

d) Love is WORK. period. It is beautiful, but it requires selflessness. It's an exchange. One person lifts the other constantly. When neglected, love diminishes. The constant concern for the other person's happiness needs to be considered. If you realize that a relationship is not right you can "fall out of love" with that person... but it is a choice, a difficult one at that.

Something that I've thought ALOT about recently due to the possessiveness in fresno. I'm not pointing fingers, but really... some people need to grow up.

When a relationship or a perceived relationship isn't right, THAT'S WHEN IT NEEDS TO END.
There is no point in convincing someone to be with you, when they don't want to be with YOU.
Possessiveness is synonymous with psychotic.
You do not own anyone unless there are rings involved. period.
Let it go when things don't work out.
Who wants to love someone that doesn't love them back?
Eventually you will feel negleted and will become bitter and you will "fall out of love" by choice because it hurts so much to care so much about someone that doesn't care about you back.
Relationships go in ebbs and flow, let it go! What is meant to be will be.

All things said, I am a very lucky girl.

To have someone as wonderful as Andy in my life who always finds a way to make me smile and is willing to work things out when things get sticky. I love him sort of alot. [ I don't want to get too sappy, that's what letters are for right] ha.

note: I am not dr. love, this is simply my opinion... what i've learned. the end.

rub my belly

2009-08-21T22:13:00.001-07:00

meet:
Siddhartha Gautama
ohmygoodness.

I absolutely love reading and learning about philosophy, the development of religion, virtues (A Small Treatise on the Great Virtues is golden), purpose, etc .
Aristotle. Plato (esp. cave allegory). Socrates. Kant. Descartes. Ekhart Toole

One of my recent favorites is Siddhartha Gautama; aka the founder of Buddhism.
I love the simplicity and truth found within his teachings.
I believe that goodness and truth can be found in many sources, not just one.
If you subject yourself to only one way of thinking, you limit the amount of goodness and truth that can enter into your life.
No, i'm not turning "Buddhist", but i'm also not so concerned with titles. I think truth is truth no matter where it is found.
LOOK ELSEWHERE!

Let these marinate:
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.

I love this because fear limits our potential, what we are capable of accomplishing. When you rid yourself of fear and just DO, the potential to achieve what you want is actually a possibility. However, if the fear of failure stops you from even trying, the YOU WILL FAIL, because you didn't take any steps towards accomplishment. I think that often times that we are too dependent on others for our own destiny. Rather than waiting for someone else to step in and rescue you, FIGURE IT OUT. Also, I've realized that thinking "I'll be happy______" is poison. I've heard so many times: I'll be happy when i'm:
married.
in a relationship.
making money.
wearing that shirt.
weighing less.
Happiness comes from within. Circumstance is omnipresent. Things happen. But luckily we can choose reactions. Rather than saying, "I'm so broke. I'm hopeless." Be productive and say, "Hey, I have $.20 in my bank account, I should start working more hours and spending less."
BE PROACTIVE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.

I love this. No explanation needed other than rid yourself of fear of what you will find and START THINKING.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

...Made you think.

great gift ideas

2009-08-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

For the American Idol Fan:
For the friend who is between boyfriends or an aspiring cat lady:

For those family members who are curious as to what a heart attack would be like:

For the spoiled pooch owner:

For the learning impaired (ME) to help study for anatomy :

For the overly competitive guy:

For your friends who live in cold places, or can't afford boob jobs:

For the whacked out child:

For the open minded pet owner:

For _________? haha... For the hardcore bible lovers who are out to scar their children for life:

How to become anti-social

2009-08-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's really quite simple, all you need to do is:
1) try to become a dental hygienist
2) follow this schedule

Monday: work 7-4:30

Tuesday: CHEM 8-9:30,
[drive to madera]
ANATOMY 6-8:50

Wednesday: work 7-4:30

Thursday: CHEM 8-9:30
CHEM lab 9:30 - 12: 30
Work dental office 1-5 [drive to madera]
ANATOMY 6-8:50

Friday: work 7-4:30

Saturday:
Psychology 8:00-10:55
Sociology 11:00-1:55

I'm really "excited" to see how four sciences courses go in one semester. I'm hoping to complete all of my pre-reqs in two semesters so that I can get into a program fall of 10'.
Until then, my social life I feel like is going to be non-existent and consisting of study groups for anatomy, which is going to kill me. ahh..

thank goodness for hunting season. hopefully andy won't feel TOO neglected.

man's best friend

2009-08-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, I went to AVILA beach on a ward beach trip.

SOOO much fun.
the weather was absolutely perfect and the people my favorites.

Dani, Sami and I took a walk along the beach and found this gathering of dogs... the happiest dogs that you have ever seen.
Splashing in the water, chasing seagulls, seriously smiling.
I started thinking about how much I miss this girl.

Cassie was MY dog.
I had to beg my parents a million times over to let us get a dog.
I would wake up at 6 in middle school to take her around laps the backyard and play with her.
My mom would call me out of school if I forgot to clean up her doggy business.
This isn't to say that she was the "perfect" dog, but her quirkiness made her even more loveable.
Like when I took her for a walk and she jumped and took the hat off a little baby walking in the park [she didnt actually touch the baby, just strategically grabbed the hat]
or when she'd smash her face against the sliding glass door and start making the weirdest noises that you've ever heard trying to get your attention.
or when there was a thunderstorm, or fireworks she'd pretty much go into cardiac arrest: barking, scratching, terrified of the loud noises.
She definitely was a little bit marly-esque.
Afterall, we found out after getting her that though she was a purebred, she was inbred. ha.
But more importantly SHE LOVED.
Unfortunately she passed away when she was only 5 and I miss her sooo much.
Dogs are so selfless, when you need them, they are there.
They know how to bring you up when you're feeling down, and to celebrate when things are good..

When I do get another dog, I definitely want it to be another golden retriever.
Riley.
Can't wait to meet her : )

2009-08-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

of all the fish in the sea...

2009-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

Andy, being the mountain man that he is was insistent that I go fishing with him.

His friend Brian lives on a huge piece of property complete with a river behind it, ponds and lakes.

After a little bit of convincing we set out and went to go catch some fish!

Final score:

Andy: 3

Lauren: 0... well i DID hook something... ANDY! ha well, his backpack.

Luckily, Andy was nice enough to share some of his catches with me and let me reel them in...

He even made me hold one!

You have to hold them by their jaws and for some reason i panicked when I thought about how it couldn't breathe and when it started to flop around, I DROPPED IT IN THE DIRT.

Poor Andy had to hike down to where it fell to release it back into the water.

poor fish.

I can't wait to go again and actually catch a fish : )

when it becomes too much

2009-07-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

Andy and I just MIGHT be spending a little too much time together...

we are starting to look alike!!!

hahaha gross.

Here's what we've been up to:

Newport Beach trip

The Tuckers, Bogenschutz, Lees, a Parker (tyson ha), a Beatty (Stacey), Wrights, where all there ready to party... SO much fun : )

While we were there.. we also picked up some "souvenirs"...
CRABS, AND OTHER STUFF
from Joe's Crab Shack. haha

I discovered this beauty from cupcakesandcashmere.blogspot.com and ohmygoodness, FELL IN LOVE. Trader Joe's sells pizza dough for $1.29. Andy & I especially like the whole wheat variety... All you do is let it rest. roll it out. top it off. throw it in the oven... Ours looked like this: DELICIOUS. this is the beginning of TUESDAY PIZZA NIGHTS. I like making my own so you have control putting what you want on it... you can make it as healthy or unhealthy as you want : ) ENJOY.

Andy and I have also been playing alot of volleyball and a little bit of tennis... We have found a new sport there and have started training immediately...
CHICKEN FIGHTING
with Parker and Dani.
Dani tried using mind games by explaining that she used to have tournaments when she played water polo, and that she was hesitant to fight because she was just worried about me...
a few seconds into the first round, 'Wow. You're strong"
Thats right... PARKER AND DANI, watch out.

OH! and andy is playing church softball... haha. It's playoffs now so I've been the cheerleader in the stands. Seriously screaming, and everyone else is silent. haha. Its fun watching all of the home runs. Thats right, he's pretty much a stud. Im sure you can tell from that picture, thank you google. I should probably bring my camera to a game...

a summer to do

2009-07-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

Do you have a... Favorite Summer Activity?
[please share]

the power of secret-ing

2009-07-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

Remember THIS beauty from the last post?

Somehow I secret-ed this image into my life [ http://www.thesecret.tv/ ] WHICH, I do in fact believe in. What you seek is what you will find...

STORY TIME:
Andy & I are sort of obsessed with ice cream and are frequent shoppers of Save Mart late at night. One night, a moustache machine caught our eye, but WE HAD NO QUARTERS. So, we were totally bummed but figured we'd be back soon, we really are addicted, and will remember to bring proper currency the next time. So the next time rolls around, quarter in hand... and THEY ARE OUT. Depressed, we shoved giant fruit gumballs into our mouths and walked out feeling quite dejected. Next time, same story... minus the gumballs. However, when we were busy enjoying Christmas in July ( ice skating ) WE FOUND THIS BEAUTY IN THE LOBBY. Dreams DO come true. Andy in a stache = sexi mexi. i dig.

objects in mirror are closer than they appear

2009-07-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

So as of lately, a few things have fallen into place.

1) I have a nanny job this summer taking care of the sweetest nine year old baby boy, Brennan. His mom Kristy, who is way awesome, works at a plastic surgery office and I recently got a complimentary, read: free, microdermabrasion. I love nanny perks.

2) Swim America is adios. Working from 7-7 just was killing me...

3) I'm working at a dental office for doctor malan, and have a new found obsession for scrubs. haha. I absolutely love it there and it has solidified my decision to become a...

DRUMROLL PLEASE...

Dental Hygienist

It has been something that I've been considering for a while and it finally just clicked. I wanted to see what being one would actually be like so I figured working in the environment and talking to people that actually do it would help me to make a decision. In my family, I am the go to "pseudo" dentist. I pull teeth of siblings and cousins left and right. I guess I love mouths. Here are the specs:

During a dental appointment, a hygienist typically removes soft and hard deposits from a patient's teeth; examines the gums and teeth to discern the presence of disease or oral abnormality; and strips the teeth of calculus (tartar), stains and plaque. A dental hygienist often performs as well root planing (a type of periodontal therapy), takes x-rays and applies cavity-deterring agents (fluoride or sealants).
In some regions of the US, in certain instances hygienists are permitted to administer anesthetics and perform other tasks generally attributed to a dentist, duties such as filling application, periodontal dressing, suture removal and metal restoration polishing.
A dental hygienist takes on a somewhat academic role as well; he or she educates dental patients on how to establish and maintain suitable oral hygiene, often with the aid of teeth models to give the patient a visual sense. The hygienist should leave the patient with a good understanding of proper brushing habits and the relationship between diet and oral health.

Salary can range from 60-80k.

Like I said, I work in a dental office and already I've been suited up and allowed to suction mouths. WAHOO. seriously though.. i love it : ) I have always wanted a "career" and this allows me to be as serious about one, or flexible ( part time ) as I want. This fall/winter I'll be taking dental pre-reqs then headed off to San Juaquin Valley College Visalia.

you look good today

2009-07-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

Equating the physical body with "I," the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn't mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.

money can't buy happiness. but it can buy marshmallows, which is sort of the same thing.

2009-06-28T02:41:00.001-07:00

Andy and I went to his friends' Luke & Jodi's wedding in Paso Robles. Andy played baseball at Fresno State with Luke and he and his now wife are the most gorgeous couple. It was beautiful wedding though it was also extremely hot, 108 degrees!!!

The food was delicious, people were fun, but the BEST part was hanging out with Andy ...

if you're waiting for a sign, this is it

2009-06-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

So often we wait for "signs" signals for change, when every day in and of itself is a new day, time for change. DON'T WAIT, today is THE day.

I love this. In the moment is seems as if everything is just the worst. However, THINGS WORK OUT the way that they're supposed to. Sometimes you have to go through alot of "suck & yuck" to get to the really good stuff. Without getting rid of other things in your life, there wouldn't be room for good to be flooded in. Sometimes we hold onto bad, but don't realize that if we'd just let go things would be SO much better.

Things will work out the way they're supposed to as long as you ALLOW THEM TO HAPPEN.

When you open your mind and heart, incredible things start to happen

Life happens. There is underlying perfection in the everyday that is untainted by circumstance. Situations are just that.. situations. Whether positive or negative they are merely there, however we can rise above and maintain our happiness. Change is constant and things will always change, our attitudes keep those changes from altering our happiness.

It all starts with YOU. Make yourself whole. Love yourself. It makes me sad when people say, "I'll be happy once I ... get married, or fall in love" Another person can't COMPLETE you, compliment you.. yes. If you are dependent on another for validation and worth... IT WON'T WORK OUT. Make yourself whole, you are beautiful.

Here's to happy goodbyes.

You are unique. An individual. There is no one like you. Never doubt that you are loved. You are here for a reason... If you doubt that, go help some people. You'll feel better.

I can't believe that people seek happiness by destroying others happiness. It just brings pain. Only the ego is boosted that feeds off the whole, "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality. And newsflash! The ego is never satisfied. Happiness comes from a peace within yourself.

NO ONE can do what you can.

I'm putting this in my future home. I love this.

LET GO of things you know aren't right, and let the good flood in!

au revoir life plans

2009-06-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

I used to LOVE to write these life plans. More than anything I think I found the possibilities of many different roads and outcomes appealing. At 19, my whole life is literally at my fingertips. The freedom that I have RIGHT NOW, I will never experience again. If I decided I wanted to pick up and move to an island, I could. NOTHING IS STOPPING ME. However, I think there is danger in trying to figure out the outcome of one's life at such a young age. I am young. I'll admit it. haha. I don't know why some people have a hard time admitting that age does correlate with experience and the less years that you have lived, the less experience that you have. Some people are able to gain more from fewer experiences than others however, but still... I don't know NEARLY as much as I hope to gather in the upcoming years.

Anyways, if you are a frequent blog stalker, you probably saw my "life plan" going to LB state, fashion merchandising, a dog, the whole 9 yards. However, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT. I am what you would call an "active agonizer". I make my decisions by deciding on something then feeling it out for a little bit, literally agonizing over the possibilities that arise from a given choice. To the average person capable of cognitive processes would assume that I am the most indecisive person ever, and even may appear to be indifferent. However, that is not the case. I am constantly running over in my mind what exactly I want from life, and what is important to me.

Since ending a relationship, one life plan gave way to another: Long Beach. However, these lists of things to accomplish take away from the whole point of the human condition. Constant analyzation and adjustment. Of course, it's easier once accomplishing a tast to have another one waiting in order to avoid the agonizing that comes from uncertainty of the next step. However, I have learned that LIFE PLANS DON'T WORK. This is not to say that one should "go with the flow" that is irresponsible. One should ALWAYS be working, aspiring towards something.

Once letting go of the step by step life plan, I have developed a real life plan. One that is void of accomplisments or to do's. It is quite simple but it consists of this simple statement:

FIND AS MUCH GOOD AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE IT IS FROM GOOD THAT TRUTH STEMS AND HAPPINESS IS FOUND.

This statment probably just sounds like common sense. Of course, everyone wants to be a good person, right. However, when you actually adopt this way of viewing things, I can testify that your life with change. When you allow fear, (which is not good) to leave there is a freedom that comes from seeking out good and peace that replaces that fear. I admit that I have let fear stop me from achieving what I truly want. For example, I have let the fear of "not finding anyone else/better" take control of my actions, and stayed in something longer than i should have. However, when I looked for good and peace, that fear vanished and I became whole as an individual independent of anyone esle confident that I would find better. Little did I know that better was just around the corner...

Meet Andy:

I have never been to be one of those girls that NEEDS to be in a realtionship in order to validate my own self worth. I LOVE being single : ) I wasn't seriously looking for anyone else, just having fun being single and looking for hope, that there were such things as GOOD GUYS. This is where Andy popped up. I saw him on my cousin megan's facebook in her pictures and was friends with all of my fresno friends. I thought you was verrryyyy attractive and so i sent him a message and the rest is history. We started talking while in ohio, and the very night that I came into town in fresno we went on a date. haha. I was the one telling him how much I hated boys, and that I didn't really want to go out, because boys are all the same. Andy has proven to me that all guys arent the same, and for that I am so grateful. Most importantly, I have found SO MUCH GOOD spending time with him, therefore accomplishing my life plan.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Everything is just falling into place... not to say that things just happen without effort or pain. I have been through pain, anxiety, many sleepless nights. It's not easy leaving behind what you know is no longer good for something, even though you know what is ahead will be easier. BUT, it is worth it. From all of this good entering my life, and seeking good I feel like I have achieved genuine happiness and not just counterfit happiness. I am ready to take on this crazy world, one step at a time.

sometimes you have to believe to see

2009-05-28T17:42:00.001-07:00

the way we get by

2009-05-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

so, i went to singles ward yesterday after being in Ohio for a month lol...
THE smallest ward that I have ever been to. hahaha.

like half the size of one of byu's wards & that constitutes pretty much all of the LDS students in Columbus.

And I met this rad group of guys.
todd, eric, sean, jared, justin, stan, aaron, and ?

They introduced me to green rivers, and waterfalls.
WHAT A BLAST.

Eric went to go scope out the depth, to see if it was deep enough to jump in. Sean being the loving friend that he is helped him down.The seven foot giant could stand up, so i guess everyone figured that 6 feet is a good depth to jump from 15 feet into. haha

Everyone jumped in... even me with a little coaxing. haha. there was no shore. Getting out was quite the challenge... I had the brilliant idea of using a towel as a rope, and so that helped all the guys get out. However Eric and I took the road less traveled and got out on somebody's personal dock, sprinted through their backyard in our suits, ran across a bridge of traffic and went back down to the water. haha

I like this. waterfalls are gorrgggeeeoouuuss!

That night I headed back over there and was introduced to this wonderful contraption: the magic bullet.
I LOVE BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIES : ) delish.
[[sorry i don't have pics from party part two]]

my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth

2009-05-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking... A WHOLE LOT recently.
one thought that held my attention was trying to understand what makes people afraid to be genuine.
I consider myself to be an independent thinker, and going along with that I like to do what makes me ultimately happy... like everyone else.
However, I think that some people's happiness is dependent upon others happiness. Rather than establishing one's self concept, identity and becoming an ALLY with oneself rather than the enemy is when inner strength comes to be who you truly are, or believe to be at the time.
There is pressure in the world, I am aware to conform to the ideologies that are placed upon us all... Even the strong willed independent person that I consider myself to be I have succumbed at times to what society's idea of happiness is and tried to subscribe to that.
Trust me, what others preach about happiness is irrelevant to one's own life.
Happiness comes within...

Everyone remembers of course the whole concept of Freud's
id (pleasure)
ego (interactions with reality)
& super ego (morals, supercedes all other centers)
i assume. (google it if you're unfamiliar)
I think that where the gap stems in love from oneself is that too much emphasis is placed on the ego... rather than finding the inner strength that comes from relying upon one's own super ego. The ego focuses on the current situation in an emotional context whereas the super ego realizes the underlying perfection that is untainted by circumstance.

It surprises me that there are so many beautiful people with such great life experience that put on a "show" to try and convince the world what they believe others want them to be. It's like this elephant. Adding all of these decorations ( doing things in the open so others have a specific perception of you) detract from the natural beauty and purpose that is inherent in each of us. Elephants aren't meant to fly. Even with wings attached... still they can't fly even though the appearance of wings suggests the capability of flight.
You are who you are... be open. be honest with yourself. love being an elephant.

If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of obligations of life and death. But change is a law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality" Dan Millman

“The great teachings unanimously emphasize that all the peace, wisdom, and joy in the universe are already within us; we don't have to gain, develop, or attain them. We're like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight. We don't need to imagine trees, flowers, deer, birds, and sky; we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we really are -- as soon as we quit pretending we're small or unholy.”

this is how it works...

2009-05-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

smart is the new sexy, awkward is the new cool. flawed is the new beautiful.

2009-05-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

ffffound & i can read

there's a doctor in the house

2009-05-15T14:05:00.001-07:00

GUESS WHO IS A LAW SCHOOL GRADUATE... clark! congrats on that Juris Doctorate!

& Wyatt? ha

After Clark's graduation ceremony we headed over to:

I had something that looked like this:
Whole grain bread, mozzarella hunks, lettuce, basil and fat free vinaigrette with a side of baby carrots.
YUM!

good day. and.. the best part is that it's not over yet. I can't wait for Clark's dad's BBQ : )

life plan

2009-05-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

1) Move somewhere similar to here:

2) get one of these bundles of love:

3) do this:
5) go here:

California State University Long Beach
LB also =Lauren Ball

6) Major in this:
Fashion Merchandising, which emphasizes the business and visual areas of the fashion industry such as store management and buying, visual display, product merchandising, product development, textiles and apparel manufacturing, sales representation and promotion

4) open a business like this:

5) eat this:

6) Find a place like this:

7) Work for this to accomplish the above:

girls&boys

2009-05-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
And we are so fragile, And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just, Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile, And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just, Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
And we are so fragile, And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
-Ingrid Michaelson, "Breakable"

on the hunt...

2009-05-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

for vintage teacups, bowls and saucers

stops of the day:

2009-05-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

1)
To get :

a scale (so my sister and i can watch the pounds fly off.. haha. so far so good : )
strawberries, bananas, pears, & pineapple

2) a real, true Ohio bookstore... i love browsing through books

3)
I fell in love with one of these:
a golden doodle : golden retriever + poodle

4)
to get: lots of sports bras

then tonight consists of:
Jeni's Ice cream- our special treat of the week! we've been SO healthy : )

check out these flavors!!

ICE CREAM:

Goat Cheese with Roasted Red Cherries
Blue Jacket Dairy goat cheese with roasted Michigan cherries—like a fluffy cherry cheesecake, but even better. this sounds soo good in such a weird way!

Savannah Buttermint
Our most requested mint. Salted butter, Ohio organic cream and Oregon mint with crunchy white chocolate flecks.

Toasted Coconut Rum
Double-roasted coconut and a glug of warm rum add a sunny disposition.

Strawberry Buttermilk
Fragrant strawberries with rich buttermilk. A light, clean finish.

Wildberry Lavender
Complex. Intense lavender with hints of exotic spices and lots of brambly berry flavors.

Kona Stout
Rich Russian Imperial Stout from Barley's and Stauf’s Kona coffee steeped in cream. Smooth. Perfect complement to dark gingerbread or rich chocolate cake.

YOGURT:

Lime Cardamom Yogurt
Aromatic and piquant, creamy and light. Organic yogurt and cream from local grassfed dairies.

Lemon and Blueberries
Tart, refreshing lemon plays with sweet, plump blueberries. Crisp finish. yum!

Raspberry Yogurt
Full-bodied raspberries with tangy yogurt; creamy and sweet, well-balanced.

SORBET:

Berries & Burgundy Sorbet
Deep, dark berries with growing hints of red wine; sophisticated and grown-up.

followed by:

I love girl's nights : )

i think i'm in love...

2009-05-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

Then

& Now

adventures

2009-05-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

We ran through pouring rains to get to the BEST ICECREAM ever!The Coolest Pet Shop ever! They hand you puppies as you walk through the door!

Sunday Best

2009-04-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

Even Wyatt put on a "tie" for the occasion.
Ohio has been beautiful these past few days that I've been here.
Sunshine, and more sunshine.
I love the trees out here, they are everywhere and there is so much green.
I checked the weather report today, and the sunshine isn't going to last long.
HERE COME THE THUNDER STORMS.
My sister told me today that, "If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, it'll change."
It sounds just like UTAH!!
Although, I'm hopeful that I will escape Spring here snow free.

When in Ohio...

2009-04-25T18:57:00.000-07:00

Life with the chub.

ADORABLE

I love little Wyatt Emerson.

wyatt looks just like my sister and her hubby

He is the cutest thing ever.

I am in auntie love

Ohio has been extremely sunny and I can feel the difference in humidity compared to Utah, although I am told that "this is nothing..."
Humidity sort of scares me.
It has been so nice spending time with my sister and helping her out with the baby, and giving Clark a break.
Oh yeah.. and they have three ferrets.

I guess they all are sort of naughty... even Roxy.

hahaha, I guess that's what people in Ohio do...
Roxy, Gus (gus), and Jack.
they look like little otters.
they're way fun.

Gus-Gus is the fatty of the bunch and is a little bit naughty. He was named after the mouse off of Cinderella and it fits him perfectly.

I've also noticed, and my sister has pointed out that people are "larger" here than on the West Coast.
I started to get into the "bigger is better" mentality when my sister welcomed me off the plane by us making our traditional "sisterly chocolate chip cookies"
I forgot to half the recipe so a huge hunk of cookie dough ended up in the freezer, and we have been living it up.
But, healthy days are ahead.
After all, SWIMSUIT SEASON is around the corner.
Helllooo produce and other yummy whole foods.
Even though I am having so much fun out here, I still miss MY baby...

it's here

2009-04-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

The end of the 2008-2009 school year
The end of living in Mountainwood Condos
The celebration of Chris & I still being together (almost 1.5 years), and happier than ever
Time to go to Ohio to see my sister and her beautiful baby
Time to go to Fresno and see my family
My GOOD friends are starting to get married, Jordan Hammer & another "unofficial" one
Time to switch to a new school, and make preparations to do so
Time to work on an awesome tan and a toned body
It's sort of crazy how life just GOES ON, it is propelled forward and if you don't take charge of your life you'll end up merely EXISTING. Life is for acting on, and taking action, rather than being acted upon...
Change is coming, and this time is welcomed.
After all, why fight when "the only constant is change"

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late

I need a ...

2009-04-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

fluffy pillow & a glass of water
finals are almost over...

Why I'm going to OHIO this summer

2009-04-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

That's right, I get to spend 8 hours a day with this handsome boy... & see my SISTER ( :

Happiness Is...

2009-04-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

Happiness is Peace.

Peace within yourself.
Peace because of the power you hold to determine the course of your life.
Peace in recognizing the underlying perfection in the everyday that is untainted by circumstance.
Peace knowing that your identity and self concept is not your body, but something deeper.
Peace in that the inner you doesn't fall into a category or submit to a title.
Peace from understanding your worth as a human being who's actions don't deduct value from that worth.
Peaces that comes from living in accordance to your own code of ethics, but
choices don't equate to sin.

Peace because just as life goes on, when problems come, you too can overcome and go on.
Peace that comes from curiosity and expanding your world concept.
Peace that stems from doing what you and many truly desire, but actually do it, despite those many who merely state, "I wish I could..." WHY NOT?

Peace that comes from discovering what you truly want and then putting everything you have towards accomplishing it.

Peace in wonderment and possibilities of the world, finding multiple ways to accomplish the seemingly impossible.

Peace is being content with what you have and realizing that material things don't correlate to happiness.
Peace knowing that happiness is oblivious to circumstance.
Peace is separating yourself from systems and communities that try to make you think that your worth is compromised because of choices, or only accept others who aren't genuine and just appear to be good.
Peace is loving someone with your whole heart and accepting them for who they are at the moment without trying to make them change to increase your comfort.
Peace is happiness

Chris turned twenty-four!

2009-03-26T18:56:00.001-07:00

Last weekend Chris and I headed to Syracuse with Michelle's friend Cara, and met up with Michelle, her hubby Kurtis, mama & papa Craig, and Katie Round.. oh! and Baxter ( :

We went to Park City:

Me, Michelle (Chris' sister), Katie Round (center), and Cara

I tried on a $500,000 ring!

Then Salt Lake City:

Walking around the temple

The group

Then Celebrated the next day my handsome boy's birthday:

WHAT A WEEKEND!
Oh yeah... and then there was THIS unexpected guest...

the oh-so-sexy mexi-stache...

2009-03-08T00:33:00.000-08:00

sail away, sail away, sail away...
i love enya.

&&& the song "Mariella" by Kate Nash

yes, please

2009-02-17T14:08:00.001-08:00

I love LOVE

2009-02-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

I am seriously the

LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

hands down.
I am so excited for this Valentine's Day weekend.
I love going to Southern California with Chris & I'm excited to meet his other sister.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

p.s. happy birthday darwin! My friend Katie (who's an anthropologie & bio TA) made evolution cupcakes for her class. haha.

P.P.S just for laughs...

25 things about ME

2009-02-10T18:16:00.000-08:00

1) I was really supposed to be a boy. My name was going to be Michael. Who knows what happened been that ultrasound and birth. I surprised everyone. My mom never got over the fact that I was a girl and couldn't use the name Michael so she named my little brother logan MICHAEL moore.

2) When I was 4 years old my dad asked me what I want to be when I grow up and I said, "I want to be rich." Not that money is EVERYTHING. But I do believe that it brings opportunities and if you know how to handle wealth it can make life easier.

3) Whenever I envision myself in my future career, I am wearing a power suit and in a board room. I like power, and the thought of being successful in the near future.

4) If someone says something that I don't agree with, I am not afraid to let them know. In fact, I sort of like catching people off guard and sometimes saying things just to be controversial and have people think for themselves and re-examine their own opinions rather than regurgitating the socially expected and accepted response.

5) Love is not just something that happens. Contrary to those that believe that you "fall in love." I didn't just wake up one day and find myself surprisingly in love. Love is a conscious decision that you have to make everyday. To put someone else in front of yourself doesn't always come naturally, but it is honestly the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me... to be in love & in turned be loved. I feel a glimpse of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me through my limited ability to love.

6) I CAN NOT STAND PEOPLE WHO ARE FAKE, NOT GENUINE, ETC. People that act like they are one thing to the world, then contradict themselves. There seems to be a problem with this is provo with the mormon population. People feel a need to appear perfect. Perfection isn't a reality though. Be yourself. And if you're a B, and a mean person, don't pretend to be nice to people then turn around when they tell you things in confidence. I'd more readily befriend someone who tells it like it is, even if it hurts than someone who pretends like they cares then screws you over. Thank you Chelsy Plowman. You are currently one of my favorites for that. The whole honesty thing. I love that you are just YOU. period.

7) I think it would be cool to live the hippie life for a little bit. Or even just go backpacking through Europe. My hair would make the best dreads. Imagine the people that you would meet, the non-materialistic experiences you would have. I would love to meet truly genuine people along the way. Learn about different cultures, and step outside of my own notions about the world.

8) I have grown so much since coming to college. And no Jordan I'm not just talking about my boobs. Thank you freshman 15. I find myself to be a much more complex thinker, I am in a serious relationship for the first time in my life, I am accomplishing goals, continuing to define myself, balance work and school, just everything. I truly believe that everyone needs to MOVE OUT and live on there own and go to college before making any serious life altering decisions. ie marriage.

9) If there has something I have recently learned is that: you have to take care of yourself. People don't always have your best interest in mind. For example, your boss doesn't really care if you are sick, they just want to not be short a person. Even though you feel a responsibility to work, you come before your boss. I am responsible for making sure that my best interest is fufilled. Nobody is going to do that for me, or for you for that matter. It's just a job. Most likely they'll be okay making smoothies or whatever without you. It's better to miss a day of work and have your boss mad at you than fail a test, or miss the trip of a lifetime. I'm not saying to be irresponsible, but rather to make your own decisions and not let authority figures make your decisions for you, because they only have THEIR best interest in mind.

10) I want to be a hot mom. I am excited to have a family and I want my husband and my kids to not be embarrassed of the frumpy mom. I want to be the one who is all did up in anthro and has dinner on the table at 6:00. I believe that family should be first, but I want to still take care of myself: gym time! Also my girls will always have their hair done, daddy can take care of the boys... actually I'll probably take care of them too.

11) I love being a nanny this year. I am a nanny to 5 boys and I have seriously learned so much about being a mom, and kids. Kids are seriously AWESOME. They are always 100% genuine and usually don't have much of a filter. They do and say what they want. And for the most part, they are GOOD, so it's not so much of a bad thing. Also, every child has a different style of parenting that they need. Some need more positive reinforcement, attention, punishment, or bad behavior ignored.

12) This past year, I have spent more time with kids than anyone else... pretty sure. Nanny for a 9 & 7 year old during summer along with being a swim coach to a million little kids, and now i'm a nanny to 5 boys. I am always around kids. I think it's important to be around kids and to learn how to interact with them before you have your own. Learn your future parenting style, etc.

13) I absolutely love to cook. I got an apron from anthro for christmas and i wear it every chance I get. Yesterday I made peppered steak, homemade mashed potatoes (with the skin..mmm), and salad. Yeah, I'm not all for that top ramen college diet. I think that's why Chris likes me, I'm always cooking something delicious up. I also like to experiment and make up new recipes. ie scalloped potatoes + cream of mushroom soup + sour cream + a little bit of ketchup= chris' favorite recipe. haha He says it tasted like funeral potatoes. Sometimes you have to make do with what you have.

14) I love being spoiled. Chris is really good at that. I am sort of a princess. I love that Chris always does little things to make sure I am always the happiest that I can be. Whether its getting up to get me a drink, opening doors, getting take out, or making me feel better... he is so selfless. I love the little things. I think that's what being spoiled is all about. Although, I guess that I can't complain about the Mercedes. lol.

15) I swear that I have ADD i think that I am already done with this little survey.

16) I obsessed with arts and crafts. Anything involving creativity... count me on. I can whip up play-doh in 2 minutes flat, make cards out of the weirdest materials... I love it all! I love scissors + paste + tape +sharpies!

17) I need a WHOLE LOT of attention. Really. I love to be the center of attention. That may explain why I say things sometimes just to get reactions.

18) My favorite day in the whole wide world thus far was when chris and I went to disneyland with my family. Then, we went to the meet his family, but we stopped on the way on the beach. He took me to The Wedge, over to these rocks that jutted out into the ocean with boats on the left in the distance and just the ocean to the right. The sand was deserted, we were the only ones, except for the far off lights. We were sitting and talking and MAYBE kissing on the rocks when after a while he pulled out a blue tiffany's box and said, "this has been in my pocket and has been bugging me." I didn't believe it, inside was the most gorgeous bracelet I have ever seen. I still wear it nearly everyday. In fact, I'm wearing it right now. When I left it in Denver, I was devastated, but I got it back! But honestly, that was the most romantic/perfect day of my life.

19) I really miss my dog Cassie. She was my golden retriever that I got in middle school when we moved to Roseville. She was inbred and definitely spaztic, I think that's why we got along so well. I used to wake up at 6 in the morning to run her around my backyard because I don't think I was allowed to take her for walks in the neighborhood before the sun came up when I was 10 lol. I loved her so much. She was always there whenever I was having a bad day. Once she made someone call the cops though when she got off her leash when we were at the park and stole a toddlers hat off his head and started running around with it. We hid in the neighborhood for hours. I thought that I was going to go to jail.

20) I took piano lessons since I was 8 years old, and love to sit down and sight read music. I wish that I had a piano that I could go to more often and I always wish I have music to play. But somehow even though I love it, I can't bring myself to spend money on music. Sort of weird, I think I just would rather get clothes, i guess.

21) My hands and feet look like snowflakes. Honestly, just looking at them you would think that I am a 97 year old woman. I used to be sort of embarrassed by them... but now I love them. They are what makes me ME.

22) I am very sarcastic. I say things with a straight face when I am joking so people that don't know me very well think that I am serious. I also love asking people questions and when they give an answer keep looking at them expectantly so they continue and see how long they go on explaining until I start laughing hysterically. Seriously, try it sometime.

23) I was born on October 23rd. My parents got divorced when I was baby. I have no memory of them together. My mom is a Saint. I haven't seen my dad for three years. I am grateful that I have such a good step-dad though, that I honestly consider my dad. He is everything that a man should be. A good provider, self-less, and kind. I love him. I should tell him more.

24) I am the best bargain shopper ever. Just the other day I got 6 tops for $29. I believe in looking like a million bucks for not nearly that much. On the other hand, I'm not afraid to spend more on staple wardrobe pieces. aka: my BCBG pencil skirt, BCBG little black dress, sevens, citizens, boots, etc. Those things last forever. Also I don't like CHEAP. I find deals at places like nordstrom. I am into quality, not just quantity. It is sort of a complicated thing to explain.

25) I feel like everyday i get closer and closer to the person that I want to be. More true to myself, and defining my values, and beliefs. I don't just accept things at face value anymore. I investigate, and come to my own decision. In my religion class, they said that it was a sin to just accept everything the prophets/ apostles say. That you need to investigate it on your own and receive personal revelation. I love that. There are too many regurgitations by people. Examine what you truly believe.

i love my baby mama, i never let her go

2009-02-08T14:44:00.000-08:00

My sister officially makes the cutest babies. I can't get over bragging about this bundle of joy.

My new nephew, Wyatt Emerson Dray. He is THE most adorable thing on the face of the planet. I can't wait to see him! He is only a couple of days old! He is definitely the HOTTEST newborn baby ever.

I'm an AUNT

2009-02-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

Welcome Wyatt Emerson Dray!

He was born yesterday at 5:55 (Ohio Time) & weighed 9 lbs 13 oz (13 oz of that is hair weight) and 22 inches long.

We've got ourselves a little basketball/football player in our family!

Go to http://clarkandkristindray.blogspot.com for more pictures!

6 words...

2009-01-30T10:36:00.000-08:00

I am so ready for California!

Only... 13 more days! Phantom of the Opera, Valentine's Day, walks on the beach... mmm bliss.

Right Now for
San Diego, CA

Sunny

68°F
Feels Like
68°F

Updated Jan 30 10:25 a.m. PT

Right Now for
Provo, UT

Fair

27°F
Feels Like
27°F

Updated Jan 30 11:25 a.m. MT

Things I Heard While Talking to Myself

2009-01-17T20:08:00.001-08:00

I am back in PROVO.
school started.
I have classes. early ones.
M/W/F class 8-11 A.M.
T/TH class 10-10:50
biology
anthropology ...it's nothing like the store, lol... my professor has a FAKE english accent. raised in Calif. went to Oxford, thinks he's English now. It is horrible to listen to
does not equal
humanities 201
marriage & family living & D&C part II with the best professor ever.
afternoons = nannying
which, bytheway is THE best job ever.
I love those boys.

[Grady is on the left playing with one of the leaves while walking to the park, and Jake on the right is getting ready to take his nap... these were taken in the fall, pre-snow]
I have soo much fun playing "roar", tigers on the prowl, giving horsy rides, spinning in circles, splashing in the tub, and cuddling.
There is just something about little kids. They are just so GENUINE. It's hard as you get older to find people that are really true to themselves. I've learned that when someone is genuine, I like them. period. I don't think there is any more respect that you can hold than for someone who isn't afraid to be true to themselves. Isn't that life's quest afterall?
At the present moment:
1) it is Friday night
2) Chris is in SAN DIEGO... I couldn't go because of work & I want to catch up on school, run errands, etc
3) less than a month until VALENTINE'S DAY when Chris and I are going to H O L L Y W O O D to see Phantom of the Opera

I am so incredibly excited to reunite with the ocean... mmm.. & be with my main man. We always have a beach whenever we head down to Southern California, but then again who doesn't.
4) I am proud of myself for becoming a regular at the gym, go new years resolutions
5) Chapters 1,2,3, &4 are completed of my book called "The Harmless People" for anthropology... it's about bushman. Pretty interesting actually, although not a lifestyle that I would look into furthur for myself.
6) I am missing Chris & wishing I was in San Diego and a little less responsible
7) I am thinking that I want to venture out and find some construction paper so I can make hearts, put them on a string and decorate Chris' room for when he comes back in town
8) excited to have a girls night/ reunion with jordan hammer monday & to start dedicating my monday nights to gossip girl
9) I can't wait to see my little boys, Jake & Grady. I really do love them as my own. I can't imagine the love that actual mothers have for their kids. They were the last thing on my mind before I went to sleep last night.
10) wondering when Chris is going to pop the question, OR give me a puppy
the end.

feeling nauty, nautical that is...

2008-12-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

Color Me Mine met my family today.

It was so fun to feel like I was back in ceramics again.

Even though it would have been more rewarding if I was able to throw my own bowl on a wheel, it was still a blast!

I was feeling quite nautical today and reminescant of when Chris & I went sailing, so I painted a simple sailboat on waves and added a colorful crab that will make whoever eats out of it, hopefully smile.

g.u.i.l.t.y p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e.s

2008-12-26T20:07:00.000-08:00

let's get right down to it...

everything is no.1 because they are equal importance (& i couldn't get it to count up lol)

anthropologie: i am totally into the little details. finding ruffles, feminine touches that borderline the 50's in feel, a cool pattern that lines the inside of a blazer, and just comfy quaility that you can feel. mmm bliss.

cuddling: this is a BIG one for me. there is nothing in my life so wrong that cannot be solved by a little cuddling. ohmygoodness. this one goes out to the best cuddler i know... christopher craig you are the best.

underwear: i think that nearly every woman can relate to this. cute underwear just makes you feeelll good. even if everything else goes wrong in the day.. underwear that makes you feels like a million dollars makes things just a little better.

[ i'm not posting a picture, haha]

friends: the good kind. genuine. side splitting hilarious. understands & speaks mumble. girl talk for hours material.

exhibit A: jordan hammer

i love this girl. we have fun no matter what & always are doing SOMETHING random. visiting the north star, taking pictures in front of my house, laying out, hula dancing with 90 year old Hazel, shopping, dancing for Fay Perr, wakeboarding, making/eating crepes, trying on leotards made for 5 year olds.. the list goes on&on...

[there are MANY other bests... i love you all]

exhibit B: Chelsy & Caroline

my NEW favorites. ohmygoodness. they are the highlight of my life & keep me sane in provo. I really don't know what I'd do without these girls

ahh.. i'm running out of time. places to be. people to see. guilty pleasures are to be continued!

Have a bless-ed day.. that's for all the people from the South.

Roses are reddish, violets are bluish, if it weren't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish

2008-12-25T16:02:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I hope you are enjoying your new barbies & socks, like me!
I absolutely love Christmas time, but it is always amazing to me how the time it takes to open presents always seems to fly by.

That is why I've devised this sneaky parent plan for my future home:

step one: wrap everything in at least 4 layers

step two: box each present in various boxes (i.e. cereal boxes, shoe boxes, x-boxs..jk)

step three: secure the seams of each present with industrial strength duct tape

step four: finish off the wrapping with a very secure bow ( with fishing line wrapped multiple times around underneath)

Mission statement: My hope is that by applying these wrapping techniques when I have my own children, that Christmas will last alllllllll day (or at least past 6:47 am).

Okay, so maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, not to mention the whole 6:47 time dilemma. I'm pretty sure that Chris will refuse to wake up until at least eleven... Not that Chris & I are going to get married and have kids or anything... you were jumping to conclusions, huh?ha.

For Christmas, Roger got the Wii fit & I had fun doing yoga, tight rope walking, skiing, hula hooping & Kayla got a kick watching me swivel my hips trying to virtual hula hoop.

My Christmas presents were all a complete surprise! Somehow my mom knew exactly what I wanted! [She took me shopping when I got into town] I got two new pairs of jeans, a BCBG pencil skirt, perfume that Chris is in love with so hopefully that love will transfer over to me, makeup, a blazer fom anthropologie, an apron [adorable! I'll be making plenty of rolls...it's similar to the one below] also from anthropologie, socks (stocking stuff: gum, practical jokes, fake teeth, Vogue, dry erase board, a boyfriend that expands in water,... sorry chris, along with other goodies) & college money from grandma. I love Christmas! Thank you baby Jesus for sharing your birthday, and I mean that in the most respectful way.

Along with the passing of Christmas comes my new resolution:
SHAPE UP & SLIM DOWN.
that's right... I'm going to be on the covers of women's body building magazines everywhere!
okay, that's maybe a bit of an exaggeration... but I just want to get back in shape & lose some of my "falling in love pounds." Chris! It's all your fault for accepting me no matter the shape. haha jk. but seriously. In a couple of months, I will be lean mean fat grilling machine. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't steal George Foreman's taglines.. but you get the picture.
Moral of the story: MERRY CHRISTMAS. call me if you want to play barbies (actually, you'll have to call my sister.. the new Barbie is technically hers)
peace. love. happiness.

you probably wouldn't believe this... BUT I HAVE PROOF

2008-12-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

Just so you know...

Today is December 23, 2008 which falls under the classification of winter, as far as seasons are concerned.
Well... I WENT WAKEBOARDING with Aaron Tucker, Boris Beta, Brenden Bogenschutz & Ashley Cox.

Was it cold? unbelievably

Was it fun? you better believe it.

ohmygoodness. I love being young & "invincible" and not turning down opportunities to live a little.

In the words of Kayne, "That, that don't kill me.. can only make me stronger"
EVERYONE immediately got up and got a few good runs in.

This was this first time that girls have actually gotten in the water when the Tuckers have gone in the winter. Yay for Ashley & I. we are hardcore.

I didn't even get my hair wet... afterall I'm not THAT crazy.. haha.
i just let go when my hands felt numb and gracefully sunk into the water. lol.

Here's Brenden all red faced coming out of the water... it really was so cold.

Ashley gained 200 lbs. haha jk. Her fresno state softball parka ballooned up from the heater.

Aaron & Boris are so funny.

i'm sticking to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup

2008-12-22T20:05:00.001-08:00

I'm home. I'm home. I'm home.
wow.

I could definitely get used to my huge bed again, the unlimited supply of food, & being around the family. Although, I guess that I do sort of, okay fine, I DO miss Christopher.

The past two days have been cookie making extravaganzas. Yesterday, at Kylee's house... & today at my own. It's been so fun seeing everyone from Fresno. It seems as though nothing has changed whenever I come back & Jordan, Kara, Ky & I always end up back together...

I was in charge of decorating all of the gingerbread & I made the cutest couple in the world. Yup, you guessed it. Bearded Chris & me... with hair? haha. Look how cute Kayla & Logan are. Poor Logan woke up this morning to his face in a bowl. Throwing up is no good. Little kids around me seem to be doing that a whole lot recently.

BEFORE I LEFT, Chris & I had our own gift exchange/ Christmas celebration. Chris got me THE most beautiful "indiana jones" purse that I have ever seen in my whole life. He handed me a big silver Nordstrom's box with a bow and everything. I had no idea what would be inside. I hadn't really told him anything that I wanted... However, I guess I mentioned that I wanted a new, really nice purse a few weeks ago. Chris went to Nordstrom's multiple times trying to pick the perfect bag. Apparantly he even named all the bags, hence "indiana jones" [junior drake- megan] and got to know the sales associates pretty well... Anyways, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. IT IS PERFECT. BUT MORE THAN THE BAG, HE IS PERFECT & WONDERFUL.

don't worry... be happy?

2008-12-18T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for:

a beautiful car to drive with an excellent heater and comfy seats
the flashing warning light that accompanied my entire way to and from work.
guys that are running in the snow that pushed my car when it got stuck in the intersection
the opportunity i have to study statistics today
the opportunity i had to clean up 6 piles of throwup from jacob
cuddling a sick little toddler
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with banana
more guys to push my car out of the snow when leaving work.
my loving momma who always makes me feel better
my wonderful boyfriend who always cheers me up no matter how bad things get
BEING ABLE TO FLY HOME TOMORROW

if chris and i were to make babies: BOY

2008-12-16T22:50:00.001-08:00

What do you think about my little new baby Bryson?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?