what is love.

No. this is not a new jeopardy edition...
But seriously, WHAT IS love?

Everything in this world comes back by the desire to be LOVED.
money, power, you name it.
The underlying drive between every motive is to be loved or to take care of those that we love

Try it.

If only I was _richer_ I would be happy.
The purpose of money is to accumulate.
To further your position.
To be able to have people look up to you.
When people look up to you, they respect you.
Those whom which you respect you learn to love.

HOWEVER I AM NOT AT ALL IMPLYING THAT MONEY EQUATES TO HAPPINESS OR LOVE.

Some say that

a) love is a DRUG
b) love is a choice, it's all in your head
c) someone that you fall for, "girl can't help it"- thanks fergie
d) love is potentially fleeting... once you fall out of love, you can't do anything about it.

I think that we our own selves are our harshest critics. It is SO much easier to rattle off faults and weaknesses than it is for strengths, at least for me. It often takes another to see you for the good that you currently possess and for the possibilities of who you will become. This is not to say that another person will make you WHOLE.
FALSE.

I believe that any relationship built upon the notion of "completing each other" is destined for failure. Obviously, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and two people can fit together really well and accomplish tremendous feats. However, if one is not WHOLE and HAPPY with their self before getting involved with someone, it will result in heartbreak and compromised self esteem. Also, insecurity will manifest itself while dating and JEALOUSY the thing that taints trust and causes relationships to crumble will arise... not good news.

Now back to our potential answers

a) love is a DRUG
b) love is a choice, it's all in your head
c) someone that you fall for, "girl can't help it"- thanks fergie
d) love is potentially fleeting... once you fall out of love, you can't do anything about it.

a) I believe that LOVE IS A DRUG to those that have never felt whole before, that have never loved themselves. I've been in this position before. It is literally an addictive feeling to have someone care SO much about you that they would be willing to do anything so you could avoid hurt. Sounds pretty good.. right? However, like with any addition... too much is a problem. This kind of love you start to lose your own identity... since you never really loved yourself before, the argument can be posed that you didn't really have an establish sense of sense. When love is addictive, one often feels trapped. Terrified at the possibility of losing this established sense of SECURITY that the other person provides. Security and safety that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. However, this reassurance needs to come from within.

b) You choose who you love... Fear often prevents yourself from loving completely or also letting go. Being in love and giving of your entirety of soul is a daunting situation... what if someone sees all of your flaws? heaven forbid. Those are supposed to stay hidden, only WE can know what those are ... right? When you CHOOSE to let go and make yourself emotionally vulnerable is when you can freely love. This vulnerablitity is one of the most beautiful experiences. To be transparent is a liberating experience. To have someone KNOW all of you flaws and to still love you is sort of a surreal experience. How can somebody love someone that is so imperfect? However, love allows you to see the good. However, love can also be blind if one is too afraid to see flaws in the other person. This exchange and consideration of faults I believe is essential to being in love.

c) Chemistry.

Yes, I believe that some people are more compatible than others. However, LOVE IS A CHOICE. It takes courage to invest emotionally in another and to become vulnerable to potential hurt. Falling in love is more a realization that you really are starting to care about this person. You don't just all of the sudden realize in a split second, 'I love you. the end" However, some things I can't explain. Like, love at first sight.... I don't know how it works, but to an extent i'm a believer but in a different sense.



d) Love is WORK. period. It is beautiful, but it requires selflessness. It's an exchange. One person lifts the other constantly. When neglected, love diminishes. The constant concern for the other person's happiness needs to be considered. If you realize that a relationship is not right you can "fall out of love" with that person... but it is a choice, a difficult one at that.

Something that I've thought ALOT about recently due to the possessiveness in fresno. I'm not pointing fingers, but really... some people need to grow up.


When a relationship or a perceived relationship isn't right, THAT'S WHEN IT NEEDS TO END.
There is no point in convincing someone to be with you, when they don't want to be with YOU.
Possessiveness is synonymous with psychotic.
You do not own anyone unless there are rings involved. period.
Let it go when things don't work out.
Who wants to love someone that doesn't love them back?
Eventually you will feel negleted and will become bitter and you will "fall out of love" by choice because it hurts so much to care so much about someone that doesn't care about you back.
Relationships go in ebbs and flow, let it go! What is meant to be will be.



All things said, I am a very lucky girl.

To have someone as wonderful as Andy in my life who always finds a way to make me smile and is willing to work things out when things get sticky. I love him sort of alot. [ I don't want to get too sappy, that's what letters are for right] ha.


note: I am not dr. love, this is simply my opinion... what i've learned. the end.